Anxiety After Midnight

a poem

Photo by Hamish on Unsplash

The clock strikes twelve

I am willfully ignorant

Woefully unaware 

Of Your presence 

In my present.

So I worry over the future 

And obsess over the past. 

This can’t last 

Forever…

Right?

But the moments drag on

The levels deepen,

My breath hitches 

My heart quickens

An anxiety inception,

Like being caught in a dream 

Or stuck a nightmare. 

Every minute 

Feels like an hour,

All my fears

Piled up to my ears

My willpower sours 

So I scroll…

Scroll… 

Scroll…

An antidote that adds stress

Will I ever get rest?

Night stretches on, distracted 

By impassioned revelations 

Of nonplussed actors. 

Who can’t give me substance

They offer no sustenance,

Only amusement

To fill my tank 

With dopamine

—Temporary relief— 

But it is not the peace

I rabidly seek, 

You know what I mean? 

Surely you do 

Because you are here, 

Caught in a doom scroll, too. 

Avoiding responsibilities

Or maybe fears. 

Maybe your pulse

Is also racing 

In your ears. 

Since we’re both awake 

Let us gather

In Jesus name

Close our eyes 

And offer Him praise. 

Join together

In the midst of the pain.

We can cling to hope in Him, 

The God who sees us

For where two or three are gathered,

There is Jesus. 

Can you see Him?

Don’t stop looking for Him.